So first, got my job back at BLOCKBUSTER. Thank god for that, but I (shamefully) had to start at the very bottom all over again. After leaving BLOCKBUSTER for my previous job that was supposedly better, it turned out to be worse and I lost all I had with BLOCKBUSTER and my Management title/status. However, I have been given the 4-Star CSR position, that is essentially a CSR (Bottom rank employee) that can morph into a Manager when necessary (and it bumps my pay $0.60 while I am “Manager’d”).

So, am going to try to work my way back up to where I was — but admittedly, that will take a long time (if it happends at all). In the meantime; is time to scrimp and save and live uncomfortably poor. God life is fun. Still, I am glad to be back there.. I am so good at my job there – and even after being gone about 10 months; everything came back to me instantly upon coming back. I didnt even really need training. I love the feeling of being able to do the job with my eyes closed & hands tied behind my back. So I am just overly thrilled to be back (though i never thought I would say those words).

Killer Draq Queens on Dope Next, I rented some movies at work; one being “Killer Drag Queens on Dope” which was quite amusing. It stars Alexis Arquette (from Surreal Life, etc). I really find it quite amusing and am tempted to buy it. Not sure if its the BLOCKBUSTER employee purchasing addiction, or if the movie just gives me satisfaction with my current life situations. (Being dumped for the 3rd or 4th time now by the same person — that is next)

And finally; was dumped again by the same guy for the 3rd or 4th time. Apparently this time because “I get attached too quickly”. This after he sends me an e-mail saying that he realized he ran off on me several occasions before but says he really wants to make it work because I’m a great guy.” Then he also proceeds to tell me that we have nothing in common (excuse me? WTF?!! BULLSHIT, but if YOU believe it – GREAT!) and that I’m slutty. HELL-FUCKING-O; I have only been with 5 guys in my life. Most of the people I know cant count on one fucking hand how many people they’ve fucked! I hadnt dated anyone for over a year before you and you call ME a slut?! FUCK YOU.

Sorry, obviously some of those words are meant for him. I doubt he will read this; but still — I need to vent it before I go on a rampage.

All of this bullshit has inspired me to write down some of the things in life that have always left a mark on me and shaped me into who i am and therefor explain my oddities. People dont understand me, and they likely never will; but at least I can vent and possibly help others that have (or are) going through some of these good/bad/tramatic things..

Anyways, that is all for now – I hope everyone is having a great night.

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